I like taking myself to the movies.
A) It’s cheaper.
B) Nobody’s talking in my ear.
C) I can eat the entire bucket of popcorn and no one can shame me.
Anonymous asked: smooch me - ♥ Em
*smooch*
I don’t think these country people realize I wear the cowboy boots out of irony.
Anonymous asked: That is my favorite song...
You & my boss should be BFF’s yo
If I have to listen to “Your Body Is A Wonderland” one more time…
I had a dream we put my dog down.
I was out in our yard at my house with my mom and brother and we were watching the dog limp around like she’s been doing for a couple months now.
She has arthritis that is effecting her back legs terribly, so she almost tries not to use them.
I looked at Bella for a second and watched her try to scoot around and then I looked up at my mom and said “I think it’s time.”
The next thing I know we’re burying her in our backyard.
I think it was the most realistic dream I’ve ever had.
Holy shit
I just left this voicemail on this business phone and I said “whatever” like twice
Holy shiiiiit
Overheard Construction Conversations
“Hey landscaper, GET OUTSIDE!”
“Oh shit… It hangs the other way.”
“Yer tellin’ me ya can’t dig holes? Well, shit.”
“Chris!… CHRIS! Where’s ya go, buddy?”
“He ran the forklift into WHAT?”
